Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
