sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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