Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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