my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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