direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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