drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
