pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
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