Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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