Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
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He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
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Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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