so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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