lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
