is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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