we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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