I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
