Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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