idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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