oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize