Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
