I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
