only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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