now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again