I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes