someone threw a dead crab at me
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner