Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I need a shot of tequila, and quick death

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): I need a shot of tequila, and quick death http://tfl.nu/qciv
  Replies (5) Good night (653) Bad night (848)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control... http://tfl.nu/d926
  Replies (75) Good night (1542) Bad night (4707)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (504): I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation http://tfl.nu/lbqv
  Replies (22) Good night (1486) Bad night (3218)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends. http://tfl.nu/iv37
  Replies (45) Good night (11824) Bad night (1383)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night? http://tfl.nu/ookm
  Replies (2) Good night (2280) Bad night (645)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well... http://tfl.nu/5d08
  Replies (3) Good night (1929) Bad night (579)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (218): you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen" http://tfl.nu/038r
  Replies (8) Good night (2715) Bad night (831)
• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (213): putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had http://tfl.nu/a4wf
  Replies (2) Good night (1463) Bad night (724)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn http://tfl.nu/c0rj
  Replies (15) Good night (1007) Bad night (663)
• Favorite

  (+86): View more from China

  Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+86): Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs. http://tfl.nu/vpgv
  Replies (4) Good night (629) Bad night (322)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty http://tfl.nu/qyka
  Replies (10) Good night (632) Bad night (826)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it. http://tfl.nu/a8sj
  Replies (4) Good night (645) Bad night (392)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (225): So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown. http://tfl.nu/2v03
  Replies (1) Good night (532) Bad night (218)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house. http://tfl.nu/ronf
  Replies (3) Good night (660) Bad night (296)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening. http://tfl.nu/4cd0
  Replies (9) Good night (817) Bad night (383)

Randomize