Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  that's an acceptable place to lick

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  (212): that's an acceptable place to lick http://tfl.nu/6rie
  Replies (11) Good night (4243) Bad night (676)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand

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  (970): Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand http://tfl.nu/igpj
  Replies (24) Good night (2659) Bad night (1191)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"

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  (603): i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword" http://tfl.nu/1vn8
  Replies (16) Good night (1471) Bad night (5963)
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  (415): View more from California

  Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.

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  (415): Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea. http://tfl.nu/bfzd
  Replies (8) Good night (4415) Bad night (1193)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.

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  (918): he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond. http://tfl.nu/174e
  Replies (4) Good night (1879) Bad night (1009)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.

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  (208): the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player. http://tfl.nu/khif
  Replies (7) Good night (864) Bad night (2007)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.

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  (603): Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket. http://tfl.nu/e8ax
  Replies (4) Good night (2073) Bad night (707)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Everything smells like blood and olive oil.

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  (416): Everything smells like blood and olive oil. http://tfl.nu/qieq
  Replies (9) Good night (495) Bad night (1193)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.

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  (208): Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that. http://tfl.nu/xdn8
  Replies (3) Good night (1796) Bad night (944)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.

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  (570): I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in. http://tfl.nu/wp3g
  Replies (6) Good night (1380) Bad night (594)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Bang-toberfest begins!!

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  (662): Bang-toberfest begins!! http://tfl.nu/i6ge
  Replies (5) Good night (1294) Bad night (520)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.

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  (404): I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again. http://tfl.nu/4d1q
  Replies (6) Good night (1355) Bad night (458)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.

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  (912): If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight. http://tfl.nu/iyrl
  Replies (2) Good night (912) Bad night (545)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.

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  (865): I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday. http://tfl.nu/q5oo
  Replies (0) Good night (752) Bad night (447)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?

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  (740): I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that? http://tfl.nu/cfbo
  Replies (4) Good night (321) Bad night (658)

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