i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY