Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon. http://tfl.nu/mzh2
  Replies (9) Good night (765) Bad night (1299)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros. http://tfl.nu/aucf
  Replies (19) Good night (683) Bad night (3546)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously? http://tfl.nu/b5p0
  Replies (71) Good night (2115) Bad night (6633)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up http://tfl.nu/q8f6
  Replies (50) Good night (10569) Bad night (1802)
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (229): He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records. http://tfl.nu/dlha
  Replies (41) Good night (9090) Bad night (1124)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW. http://tfl.nu/fz7p
  Replies (9) Good night (1232) Bad night (4041)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer http://tfl.nu/fbgv
  Replies (7) Good night (2037) Bad night (991)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper. http://tfl.nu/6jx2
  Replies (15) Good night (2982) Bad night (1006)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): At what point would you like us to save you from yourself? http://tfl.nu/30aa
  Replies (3) Good night (2047) Bad night (779)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH! http://tfl.nu/fcac
  Replies (4) Good night (2168) Bad night (515)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you? http://tfl.nu/5tj4
  Replies (8) Good night (769) Bad night (682)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out http://tfl.nu/hcl3
  Replies (0) Good night (610) Bad night (250)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong http://tfl.nu/9evz
  Replies (1) Good night (905) Bad night (260)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid http://tfl.nu/feem
  Replies (7) Good night (787) Bad night (362)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die? http://tfl.nu/7mjo
  Replies (2) Good night (493) Bad night (332)

Randomize