I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.