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• (352): View more from Florida

  I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..

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• (818): View more from California

  You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.

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• 

  Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (407): View more from Florida

  I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.

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• (925): View more from California

  I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (732): View more from New Jersey

  Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.

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• (415): View more from California

  Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about

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• (214): View more from Texas

  I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement

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