I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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