So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Randomize
