she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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