That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
honey bunches of taint.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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