This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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