Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
