first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
