we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
