We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
