I'm jealous of your bromance
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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