he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
