Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
