Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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