I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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