i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
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Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
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We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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