not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
