repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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