My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
