I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
