if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
