he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
