I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
