i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
