i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
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The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
did i walk over a car last night?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
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I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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