there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
