She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
