Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
