i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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