waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
