Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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