Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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