He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
