No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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