Whoa Z and x make the same sound
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
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