I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize