thus making me awesome and them whores
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
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At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
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Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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