On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
