thus making me awesome and them whores
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
