omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
